


Consequence

by RestlessRiver



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Backstory, Character Study, Flashbacks, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Hades - Freeform, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Original Character(s), Mythology - Freeform, Nokken - Freeform, Norwegian Mythology & Folklore, Origin Story, Witchcraft, Witches, Zemyx - Freeform, melinoe - Freeform, multiple mythos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:41:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23268634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RestlessRiver/pseuds/RestlessRiver
Summary: A post KH3 story exploring the backstory of Ienzo and the lexicon. Semi-divergentDemyx has been involved in a dark plot for far too long, long before he joined the organization. His resolve however is shattered because he failed to remain objective and got attached to Ienzo. Now he has to choose between what he thought he wanted and the best friend he has ever had... but will never remember him. Demyx also has to come to terms with Myde.All while ienzo is going to need to decide just how far his scope of forgiveness is willing to go. Needless to say, demyx is gonna need a lot of advice and soul searching. Ienzo is going to need a lot of coffee and memories pieced back together.excerpt:{“Cute. You gotta crush on a dead man walking”“Don't” Demyx breathed.Luxu turned to him and groaned on a heavy exhale.“Have to kid. We nyxed The Beldam too early. Ienzo is the only replacement we g-”Demyx didn't let him finish. He couldn't listen anymore. The Nocturn got up and grabbed a coat, heading for a window and jumping on to the fire escape.Luxu sighed.“Your funeral. I warned you not to get attached.”}
Relationships: Demyx & Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts), Demyx & Zexion (Kingdom Hearts), Demyx/Ienzo (Kingdom Hearts), Demyx/Zexion (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	1. Prologue: Theft of a grave.

{prologue: The Theft of a Grave}

Seeing him in the library was like seeing a dog walkin on its hind legs. It was unreal, nauseating, _wrong_ , but he couldn’t look away. Ienzo watched quietly, covering his mouth and nose in thought. He squinted to try and determine what book it was that Demyx had under his hand; Ienzo’s attempt to read the title proved futile. The nocturn pulled another volume, scanned it faster than humanly possible, then put it back. Dirty blond brows furrowed together in a knit and he seemed genuinely frustrated. Ienzo felt he was intruding. As silent as he could, he replaced his own tome on the appropriate shelf and stepped out of view.

The scientist willed himself to make his way back to the nook where he was initially reading. He found himself standing and staring at the coffee table before him. It was over run with several bricks of record and a cup of tea undoubtedly cold by now. More and more he found himself overstimulated by normal life. Oddly enough, less so by the interactions with others and more so by the emotional torrents his own thoughts brought him where, as it were, those same or similar thoughts would previously do nothing but cement his apathy. Humanity felt like an illness sometimes.

That was another thing, while some aspects were better than he ever remembered; there were aspects of humanity that Ienzo found have slain him by day’s end. Demyx’s sporadic and dwindling pressences might as well have been a device of Mors, the blade of the entity’s scythe. It was an odd sensation. Similar to the guilt that charged him to make something of himself, however this rendition of the concept had no clarity to it. Ienzo hated being without clarity. He hated having no perception of why he felt guilty for Demyx. Each time they talked, happened upon each other, the nocturne wore a smile so free as Sora’s.

Ienzo set to tidying his temporal work space to help clear his mind. Setting the tea safely out of the way, the books were reordered and his notes set right. He kept an ear out… and heard Demyx walk around the library and kept a tab on his location. Silently, Ienzo wondered if this was stalking. He was technically in his home, this was part of the castle. However, it still likely was stalking. Ienzo felt for a moment that he was losing his mind. This guilt would be the death of him. How can you atone for something, when you haven't a clue what you have done? 

* * *

Demyx knew full well that he wasn't alone in the library. He didn't mind it, and honestly? It was a welcome reprieve. If Ienzo wanted to lurk, then Demyx was fine with that. He knew from his people watching that the sixth never had any real malice to him. That was how he felt and he would stick to that conclusion. He was just a kid, and so was Demyx. Why was the dumber one of the two able to realize and accept that while the academic felt his life to be in eternal debt? Demyx had heard him talk, heard what the others said. Even even found himself confiding in Demyx. ‘For no reason other than you are in the same generation as he with a childhood in the organization. There is a dissonance between him and I and I cannot understand him fully for that reason. If he approaches you, let him talk.’ That was what the old man had said. Then he told Demyx how Ienzo felt indebted to Ansem. ‘Despite the fact that the mute scared child meerly did as ** _I_** told him to. Had I been faster to reach him…’. Even blamed himself. Even cared dearly about the child that tumbled into his life, even if he was poor at expressing such.

Demyx was unequivalently and unforgivably jealous of that.

Demyx worked hard to keep that personal strife to himself.

He harboured hatred for the situation, not the other occupant of the library.

Finding what he believed he needed, he tucked the volume under his arm and turned to leave. He paused when reaching a spot adjacent to Ienzo’s reading nook. After a moment of what he would bill as thinking of his options but honestly it was just hesitence, Demyx stepped forward. He pulled his smile from retirement and reached to poke the bluenette’s cheek through his hair.

“Heya. Keeping busy mr school?” he laughed gently.

Ienzo jumped slightly at the intrusion. His war senses had grown dull in the peace times. The bluenette turned to the blond and hummed. “Yes.”

“You walked past me earlier, rude.” Demyx laughed again.

Ienzo bit his lip and put the stack he held down. “I am sorry, you seemed deep in thought” the scientist reasoned.

The nocturn snorted. “It’s like I am stranger to you ‘Z”

Ienzo looked to him apologetically. “Mn. In a way though, you are” He admitted as kindly as he could.

Demyx hated the situation. He hated just the words, not the man who spoke them. **That** is why the words hurt.


	2. {Cementation of the deed.}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demyx comes home after finishing a mission he regrets imediatly.

“You find the shit?” the man asked without turning from the tv. Demyx laughed, finding homeostasis upon hearing the voice of the consistency in his life.

“Depends, Did you come clean to Luxord?” he asked, putting his bag down and pulling out the book. The important book. The book that should have been restricted. The book he pulled out from under the nose of a friend.

“As if. Told you, that’s never going to happen” the The man grumbled, sinking more into the cushy couch.  Demyx slapped the book onto the coffee table, ready to be done with it.

“So he’s still calling you Xigbar then?”

“Yes, and so will you when there are ears around” Luxu grumbled again, some warning in his voice.

“Fair enough, I’m taking a shower” Demyx said lamely.

“Have fun Princess” Luxu waved him off.

“Always do. Be careful with the book. Something tells me he will notice if it’s damaged” Demyx said slowly, serious.

Luxu furrowed his brows and snickered. “He doesn’t need or use this dusty old thing anymore. It’s just a relic now”.

Demyx winced and gave the sniper a warning look.

“Okay, fine. It’s not my problem if circumstantial damage does occur though” The elder man grumbled, picking up the tome. His face softened for a moment, as if looking at the photograph of an old friend he hasn't talked to for years. “I still can’t believe those old coots never but two and two together. He looks just like the old Beldam”.

Demyx continued to listen to him from the bathroom. His face grew ever more serious. He turned on the water. Frigid cold this time.“The Scientists never saw her. Ansem himself only ever saw her disguise. She wore a plague doctor mask when she played the role. Heard them talking about it on the recon long hall.” The blond said monotonously.

“Plague doctor huh? Fitting.”

Demyx groaned at the implication. 

“Thank you by the way kiddo, no one else could have pulled it off. They still never caught on to what you were doing when you would run off?” Luxu smirked.

Demyx felt cold fire in the pit of his stomach.

He wished he never grew to like Ienzo, that he never wanted to be Zexion’s friend. He wished he had stayed objective like he was supposed to. Guilt was hell.

“Never”

* * *

Demyx came out of the shower in a fog of chill, the hair plastered to his face. In a loose t shirt and jams he plopped down next to the reading Luxu. He found some enjoyment in the frustration infecting the man’s face.

“Not what you hoped?”

“Either the Beldam wrote this in code or the kid ciphered it afterward” He grumbled.

Demyx winced and thought how in the world Zexion would pull that off. Luxu, seemingly reading his companion’s mind simply said

“Magic. The magic he gained as a nobody. Dude, none of us ever saw this book until after we joined. I was sure we fucked up and lost it to the flood after the swarm. I was ready to send you into the ocean to find it, then boom, look what the kiddie has got”

Demyx nodded, holding onto the words.“Why didn't you take it then?”

“As if, too conspicuous. Besides, this book would have poofed over his dead body. It was safe with him, he didn't know what it was. For all he knew it was a scientific text turned grimoire by an insane hag”

“Can you not talk about it that harshly?” Demyx moaned.

Luxu burst out laughing. “Cute. You gotta crush on a dead man walking”

“Don't” Demyx breathed.

Luxu turned to him and groaned on a heavy exhale. “Have to kid. We nyxed The Beldam too early. Ienzo is the only replacement we g-”

Demyx didn't let him finish. He couldn't listen anymore. The Nocturn got up and grabbed a coat, heading for a window and jumping on to the fire escape.

Luxu sighed. “Your funeral. I warned you not to get attached.”

  
  


  
  


  
  
  
  


  
  
  


  
  
  



	3. {Lull}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demyx can't stand Ienzo being talked about as a disposable commodity. Despite knowing that stalking is wrong, he needed to see with his own eyes that the bluenette was safe.

Demyx knew it was fucking creepy, insane and just downright wrong. Demyx also knew that, if he didnt check to make sure Ienzo was safe after that conversation then he would go insane. So the nocturn did what he did best. 

He lurked in the deepest darks without anyone but his colleagues knowing what he really was. The nocturn stepped into the fountain and exhaled slowly as he melted away into the water. 

The nocturn’s eyes were all that we discernable of him now, glowing bright with the faint hint of blue. Demyx moved forward, a nigh invisible current propelling him further before he slipped into the pipes. By now he knew his way to the castle like the back of his hand. Knew his way around all the rooms through the pipes. He headed straight for the bathroom connected to Ienzo’s room, sure that by now he would be either asleep or reading in bed.

Ienzo never noticed that his faucet would leak at elective times. He never put the pattern together. If he didnt want you to know he was there, you would never pick up on Demyx.

He even got around Ienzo’s insane nose. The man able to smell darkness couldn't smell the difference between living water and inanimate. No one could. Demyx was thankful for this. It let him check on and keep those he grew attached to safe, even if it was to keep them safe from the very plans he was a part of.

The nocturn slowly peered from the water dispensing apparatus and through the crack of the bathroom door.

The blond sighed. He knew he was safe and sure enough, Ienzo was there with his nose buried in an H.G. Wells book. “The Isle of Dr Morue”. Demyx didn't let himself think about the volume too close. He did what he came here to do.

Now his only reason for staying was to get space from his friend who  _ loved _ to remind him that, inevitably, they had to Nyx Ienzo.

Demyx having mixed feelings was an understatement. If he had never known Zexion and never met Ienzo, he would not have hesitated. He longed so much for all those like him to just be human. For souls to be as safe as houses. Why did that line of safety end where Ienzo stood though? Why him? No one chooses the life they are born into.

Demyx watched him read for longer than he cared to admit. He memorized the way Ienzo would tuck his hair behind his ear, before immediately untucking it. He probably did this to prevent a kink in his obsessively styled hair, but it wasn't as though demyx could ever ask if that was why. Ienzo only did that when he read by himself in his room. It would be a tell.

Demyx’s chest stung with ...resentment? That made sense despite his wanting to bear no ill will towards Ienzo. Demyx silently wondered if this was at all similar to how Axel felt when the child he took under his wing forgot he ever existed. A very different sort of relationship, but not one any less close than what Demyx felt towards Ienzo. No… _‘having someone you see as a son has got to hurt worse...I should check up on those four’_ Demyx mused.

Demyx was pulled from his musings when the flutter of a page being plucked and turned rang into the bathroom. He set his eyes back onto Ienzo and sighed in-audibly. ‘ _ I wonder if he is having trouble sleeping again’ _ . 

The nocturn stared hard at Ienzo’s face. Yes, there were bags under his eyes. His hair hid them well, but if one focused they could see them.

Faint as can possibly be, Demyx started a tune. The mere suggestion of music for now until Ienzo slipped enough for him to really play. When the schemer put down his book, Demyx upped the melody in his mind just enough to get him to sleep well. When Ienzo layed down, Demyx knew it was time for him to leave.

Demyx slipped back into the faucet, silently wishing the Beldam never had a child.

It was hard enough to pretend like he didn’t know Ienzo the first time.

  
  


  
  



	4. {Adoption}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo remembers when he first met the apprentices. Semi graphic description of his mother's death. 
> 
> Just let Aeleus hold the baby Even, damn.
> 
> warning for traumatic memory.
> 
> three guesses who pulled Regina into the water....#blame my discord friend, she made me.

The book was clutched to the small rapidly breathing chest as if it were his life force. Everything sounded weird. Distant and the voices around him reverberated in an ungodly way.

The parts of his home that had yet to be consumed by the heartless read painfully bright in contrast to the black oozing dark that turned his life to hell. He couldn’t speak. When he tried to earlier, the men that found him couldn’t understand a word he said aside from one. The brown haired man pulled him, bruised and trembling from ruins.

He could see the faint spark of panic in his eyes when Ienzo tried to talk and he couldn't understand. There was real sympathy in this man’s blue eyes. A storm of protective instinct so thick and concrete it could shield a family from a bomb, and still protect them through the apocalypse to come afterward. 

When all this man could do for the child was pull him from the broken bricks...then hand him to his colleague...well Ienzo wanted to reach back for him.

The new adult, a lanky man, held Ienzo to his chest tight and listened with the ears of a bird of prey for his leader’s next order. He spoke as gently as he could to the boy, but Ienzo could tell that this man did not practice gentle words often. In this moment though, he tried.

Mousy blond hair hung over them like a curtain when the man would hunch. Ienzo was fine with that. He didn’t want to see anymore. The image of his mother smiling at him while pressing the book into his hands was burned into his retinas. Why was she smiling? Did she think Ienzo didn't know what just happened? The memory of what happened not an hour earlier played with unmerciful malice in the small child’s mind.

Her long blue hair was turning darker and darker as thick gloppy red seeped into ocean blue. His mother could normally tussle with the sailors that would port in their town. She beat his own father at wrestling often enough. His mother was the strongest person he knew. 

His mother fell to the ground the moment she got her baby out of the 6 story building. Half laid in the doorway, her torso limp against the steps leading into the sidewalk. Her hair spilled over into the decorative brick walkway. She pat his cheek lovingly, holding him close while she caught her breath. 

The woman was the most unlucky woman. Her baby was pulled by the flow of the crowd by a snag in his clothes catching on the limb of a dark monster. He heard her scream. Heard her use the last of her strength to try and get up to save him before...they grabbed her. Pulled her into the canal. He saw the bubbles.

Ienzo was tossed about by the current of shadows. He was lucky. Before they could grasp him, he fell into a pile of ruble. He stilled. He was tired and he needed to think about what just happened.

Ienzo knew his mother was dead. He knew his father would never come back. The dark was out on the waters and likely took his ship. 

Just as it had taken the floating city.

The memory battered the child’s head like it was a pinball. He choked his sobb back. Afraid this new adult might put him down if he cried. He didn't want to be alone. He wanted the brunette to carry him instead, but he was busy looking for other survivors. 

The man stiffened and reached to check Ienzo’s vitals when the child stilled. He let him. He let the man carry him when he and his team searched for survivors, precious documents and relics alike. The men sought out someone who went under the nomenclature “Melaina”. 

They went into the churches. Into areas of the churches Ienzo didn't even know existed. 

Ienzo saw the reliquaries, he saw things in jars that would have given him nightmares under normal circumstances.

The relics seemed dull now. At this point none of it seemed real.

The scientists ransacked for everything they could save and in the end the only child they found uninfected by the swarm was Ienzo. 

They seemed heart broken by this. Ienzo wanted to thank them, he wanted to thank the brunette, but only the one holding him spoke any Italian. He told the man his name and the man told him his.

Even.

Ienzo swallowed thickly when the group took him onto their ship. A few heads looked to him in surprise, as if they forgot a child could make a sound. Ienzo wanted to cry. Instead he just looked to Even. He needed to tell him, but Ienzo’s throat was bone dry. 

He showed Even his mother’s journal. Her life’s work, despite her telling him to keep it safe.

He only showed Even, even though he would grow to trust Aeleus the most he still only showed Even. For years afterwards, the journal would be kept under his hawk’s eye. His most prized possession. Unable to tell the scientists who became his family that the colleague they sought out when they threw themselves into the fray was his mother.

He wanted to tell them he knew Melaina.

He wanted them to know her real name was Regina now that she was gone. He couldn't stand the idea of her being forgotten.

He would lose himself if her book was taken from him.

Upon arrival in Radiant Gardens, the boy went completely mute. In a way, it was beneficial. Even taught him sign, a language the others in the castle could understand thus opening up communication for the newest apprentice. 

For a couple months, Ienzo would not leave his room until he was sure Melaina’s journal was secure. Even told him of a few places he could hide it, but he never told Even which nook he eventually picked. The boy hoped that Even would eventually forget about the journal. 

The guilt of breaking his mother’s trust was weighing on him. Something that Ienzo was sure he could never atone for fully, the best he could do would be to guard what was left of her with his life. Slowly, he began to make a false cover for the tome.

Sepia leather was redyed black. Ienzo decorated the edges with ornate crowing. The child played with shapes to try to make more ornamentation for the relic. It was a labour of love. Memorial. 

The book served as Regina’s Grave. 

He would die before it was desecrated. 

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



	5. {History repeats}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dilan Hyuks up.
> 
> Even tries to be a dad.
> 
> Ienzo looses his family all over again.
> 
> But hey, wholesome content of baby Ienzo and baby Kairi being friends? That makes up for all the hellTM I be writing right?

Ienzo hated getting bitchslapped by the memories he attempted to respress. That one was a doozy too. What little good it did do him was in the form of a reminder. It was a bit more of a clumsy process now that his magic had been stamped out into nothing. 

Ienzo remembered bitterly that he could no longer summon his lexicon. When he lost his heart, it was a source of comfort that he would be the only one with access to Melaina’s journal. He could summon it with a flick of his wrist then. Now, he and the tome were at the mercy of real world tangibility. 

With a heavy sigh, Ienzo slipped out from under his dense covers. His hand went to his messy mass of hair, somewhat unrecognizable from its standard appearance. In truth his hair had some curl to it. Normally, setting his appearance right was the first task on his list upon waking up. Begrudgingly, he decided that this morning might be one of the few those around him would be seeing his bed head. 

A violent yawn racked through his ribs against his will, and almost startled him. Blearily, he looked to his clock to find he had slept far beyond what was reasonable.

He had a slight headache, like he had fallen asleep with headphones in such as he did when he was a touch younger.

However, Ienzo knew he had not fallen asleep to “The Cure” like he was wont to do in the past. He had been reading. The man had even put the book away nice and tidy. Yet he felt the need to hum along with the opening tune of “The Same Deep Water as You”. Fair enough, he listened to that track often.

Ienzo trudged to his bathroom to at least brush his hair before subjecting the others to his zombie like state.

* * *

On his rounds earlier that month, Dillan set to checking on the parts of the castle that needed repair. They all had built a small playhouse for Ienzo and Kairi back in the day when the princess demanded a place where her friend didn't have to feel so shy.

It was once a wholesome miniature of a cottage, perfectly sized for a child. Regrettably now it was a bit of a mausoleum for memories of a childhood both deserved but never got to experience. 

Dilan wondered lacklusterly if they two remembered they used to play together. Ienzo? Maybe. Kairi? He was sure she didn't remember the gardens. A rare wash of sympathy and worry doused Dilan. It must have been hard for the boy to have to see his only friend back then run around with a new group. 

Dilan groaned. Fine. He would ask Ienzo if he remembered and if he -God forbid- needed a hug. This was normally Ansem’s job, but more commonly Even’s...in name. The majority of the castle had come to terms Aeleus was as close to a father the boy would accept. Dilan cared for the boy too though, despite his reluctance to get close to him outside of the fellowship of being an apprentice.

Dilan flexed a gloved hand before taking the tiny rotting door handle in his hand. Why in the hell did they decide to build this tiny house under a fruit bearing tree? If it were in the sun away from sap and in plain sight it might have escaped being  forgotten about all these years. Dilan creaked open the door and stepped inside. He had to crouch.

His heart winced. On the little chalkboard they gifted Ienzo, was an elaborate diagram explaining some fantasy science. A miniature chair facing the chalkboard was ajar. Dilan could imagine the scene as if he were watching it in real time. Ienzo pretending to be Ansem or one of the elder apprentices so he could teach Kairi. The academic’s take on playing house.

Dilan mulled the implications of this over in his head as he looked around the tiny room.

“So he talked to the princess but not to us.”

Maybe he would just hug Ienzo anyways. He would have to talk to Aeleus.

Dilan picked up the artifacts of tiny humans absentmindedly. Curiously, he went through the books on the little bookshelf. Most of them were fairy tales and adventure tales, the princess’s things. Once he picked each little book off the shelf he found the back of the shelf was loose. ...He pushed it aside and found it to be a false back leading to the alcove they had intended to be a dumbwaiter for the children in the early stages of construction. He had forgotten all about the many intricacies they included for the two little ones.

Dilan slid the door of the dumbwaiter up and hummed. He was not as surprised as most would be. Zexion always guarded the book so closely. The man pulled the volume out of the alcove carefully and opened it. He couldn't understand a bloody word.... 

Dilan had stored the lexicon in the library when he found it discarded, believing it to no longer be of consequence. He honestly thought it just to be a volume of dead and useless spells that only Ienzo could read anymore- if he could read them as Ienzo.

He figured it was hidden for a reason, so far out of the way. In a rotting house of the past.

Perhaps Ienzo wanted nothing more to do with it, just as he wanted nothing more to do with Zexion.

Dilan thought he was doing their ward a kindness when he put the book in the library without a word. Preserving it should Ienzo want to see it again.

* * *

Once his hair was somewhat passable, Ienzo trudged out into the halls. He hummed the tune gently to himself to the beat of his bare feet in the lush grass of the courtyard. He headed straight for the tiny cottage and sighed fondly when he saw that it still stood, even if a bit sadly.

Still, even stinking of mildew, these ruins were precious to him. He told himself that all that mattered was that his friend was safe. No need to dig up the past and make her feel guilty for forgetting him. 

He laughed gently at the memory of the first time she stole his lab coat. She tried it on and did a little twirl. She made him chase her to get it back. He never caught her. The replacement they gave him was not the official design. It had a standard collar and buttons instead of a zipper. Ienzo was fine with that though. If the coat made Kairi happy, then it made him happy that it was hers now.

He remembered how they would watch the two funny boys try to get past Aeleus to no avail. They chuckled at the funny boys in between bites of ice cream, an aerial view from the window above. 

Once Kairi had told him she wished the guard would let them in so the four of them could be a little group. How fun would that be? They could adventure together as a team? Kairi would giggle  when she told him her ideas. She found it entertaining how Ienzo’s face would scrunch with thought. She said he thought about things too much. Kairi was a smart girl, even at that age.

Ienzo placed a hand over his heart at the memories of his dear little friend. There was a time where he would throw a heavy textbook straight into the face of anyone who dared to threaten the girl who stole his lab coat.

Oh how things went so horribly awry. Ienzo deserved for Kairi to forget him. He may have been a child, but he was a member of the apprentices. He failed to protect the princess of the castle he served. Being forgotten was his due.

Ienzo winced away the tear threatening him as he opened the door.

A shock of cold air washed him. Things were not in their place. He had not bothered to close the door before he rushed the bookcase… and found his treasure stolen. 

Ienzo failed miserably to protect anything he cared for it seemed.

The schemer stopped himself from panic, and forced himself to think. The cottage had been entered and things were taken, but not disrespectfully so. Aeleus and Dilan had been speaking of repairing old parts of the property lately. 

If Ienzo ever needed a sign that he had a heart now, then the nigh heart attack he felt when he put the pieces together would be a potent reminder.

He rushed to the library as fast as he could, believing that if either found the book they would have homed it in the restricted section. The bluenette found himself stumbling through the pathways like a final girl in a horror movie approaching the climax of the film. The thuds of his boots on the stone steps  echoed his heart in a gory pantomime of sound poetry. His head felt heavy, then it felt as though his neck bore no head at all. 

He hadn't felt such dissonance with reality since the day he was taken from the floating town.

When Ienzo reached the room he spent most of his willing time within, he fell still. For a few solid moments he was still like the grave statue of an angel. Watching over the shelves, as if a ghost would weave out from the maze and direct him to his mother’s keepsake. No such ghost appeared.

For what felt like an eternity, Ienzo did his best to calmly comb through the restricted section. Book by book, he cleared the shelves.

He came up empty handed.

Within the blink of an eye, Ienzo became a vengeful wraith. 

He overturned the shelves, the book cases. Oak cascaded to the floor in splinters of violence he would never tolerate a library befalling under any other circumstance.

In that moment, Ienzo lost himself to panic. It was not beautiful. It was not a poetic show of tragedy. There was nothing of beauty to be derived from this man’s sudden bout of crisis as he destroyed his haven in search of one tie he had to his life before hell.

He heard his name called, screamed. A shrill worried tone. Ienzo had a flashback of emotional recall from when Aeleus had found him under the rubble, only to hand him to Even. That day. Yes, that is what this felt like. That is what this was. History repeating itself. His worst day was relieved.

Ienzo lost his mother for the second time. 

Even pulled the young man from the destroyed book case, Aeleus lifting the slain furniture off of him so the old man could do so. Even held his ward to his chest after he pulled him to safety, trying to understand why the boy would destroy his room of sanctuary.

Ienzo looked like a ghost of tragedy. His button down black pajamas were torn. His feet muddy and cut from running through the garden. There were splinters in his chaotic spider web of hair. He was bruised from the falling oak and yet he noticed none of it in the rush of panicked adrenaline.

Just like that day, Ienzo tried to explain but found he could not. Due this time, to his oncoming tears as the emotions caught up to him.

Dilan ran into the room when Aeleus let out a rare yell for him.

The normally stoic man’s face slowly melted into a mask of guilt. He Stared over the literary carnage and felt sick. He spoke up lamely.

“I put it in Ienzo’s personal section.” Dilan admitted, standing like a soldier ready to be torn a new one by his general.

Even looked up to the guard with scary green eyes. “What did you put in his section?”

Dilan internally shivered. He had never been wary of Even before. “His lexicon.”

Ienzo muffled a wail into his Even’s chest. No one dared ask if it were still there. They were not morons.

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


**  
  
**

  
  



	6. {Rain and Crows}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luxu actually has a feeling. a single feeling Rubin in his heart.
> 
> Laurium hates crows. Get 'm Z.
> 
> if you have any suggestions, please comment! This is my first time writing a lot of these characters so the feedback is welcome.

“Did you hear that the library is closed off the public now?” Luxu’s voice cut over Demyx’s tired haze the moment he walked into the door.

“No, I didn't. Not surprised though.” Demyx answered noncommittally. He shook the salt water from his hair and headed straight to the dryer for a fresh towel. Luxu growled and hip checked him out of the way of his chore. 

“There are towels in the bathroom” He grumbled at Demyx.

Demyx winced. “Look dude, I could really use a warm one...for multiple reasons”.

“As if. Hot terry cloth is not going to cure guilt over a mission you were meant to be detached to” Luxu chided. Despite this, he layed a hot towel over his best friend’s shoulders. “Seriously, get over it. Forget him. It is killing me to see you like this. You know I hate getting mushy. I'm not going to paint your nails while you whine about it in between shovel fulls of ice cream” He huffed.

Demyx bit his lip at the slight smile that tugged his lips. “You did once.”

“Over Saïx demolishing your self esteem and productivity. That was easy. We both hated the guy. I _still_ do” Luxu spoke with pride over maintaining his detachment to their past castle mates.

Demyx groaned and tucked his plans to check on the sea salt quatro away in his mind. There were many things that Luxu didn't have to know about. The blond held the fresh towel to his face and sighed into it. Demyx took a moment just to enjoy the scent of the detergent and the heat. Wordlessly he stepped back to make his way to the shower.

“They are looking for it,” Luxu said monotonously when Demyx stepped back. “The book. We won't be able to keep it for long” The raven admitted.

Demyx managed to keep the sigh of relief inside him. The release of tension in his shoulders however, did not go unnoticed by the other man.

Luxu expressed the inverse once Demyx was closed off in the bathroom. He would never admit it, but he felt panic. He would have to make a duplicate as fast as physically possible then frame some unknowing rando for checking out the book.

Or he could let it be and leave Demyx the responsible suspect. The raven told himself he couldn't let that happen. He had to keep suspicions of the plot low despite the unlikelihood of the others linking this back to their newest ally. Yes, that was it.

Luxu felt no guilt if Demyx got burned in the end for failing to remain objective. He was not planting evidence to spare his feelings. 

Luxu huffed and shoved laundry into the basket with far more force than necessary. He would finnish this latter. The sooner he had that back up copy the sooner he could breathe easy.

* * *

Had Ienzo not destroyed the library they would have been able to find whom the lexicon fell into the hands of with very little difficulty. As it were though, he had wrecked the place. What was done was done. Ienzo starred over what he did with a vague dissociation while the damages were being repaired. He kept coming back to the closed off area on his breaks as if he would find it had all been a false memory. The bruises and cuts from his breakdown healed, but slowly. He healed much slower as a Ienzo than he did as Zexion. 

Today, Ienzo didn't enter the library, he merely stared at the repairs from the private entrance. The others requested that he distance himself, it was what was best for all parties involved. Looking back at that day, Ienzo did not recognize himself. He normally prided himself on being a gentle man of thought, not a beast of violence. The others were right, he should not be here. His hands tightened around his coffee cup, leeching warmth from it and stepped out of view of the door way.

The bluenette shrunk back into his hoodie and shivered. This spring had been incessantly cold and volatile. He did not remember this much rain in the past. He did not remember the rain smelling of marine sel. Ienzo felt he must have gone crazy. His nose had to be dulling like all else of him in his humanity. For all the world, in this moment on his ….kindly requested reprieve….he looked his age. Not like he normally did, clinging to his uniform to remind the others that he was their peer now and no longer their child. Funny, the black hoodie almost made him look like….no. The hoodie _did_ however make him look like he was in his early adulthood. He supposed a twenty year old should be wearing whatever made him happy in his free time.

It was just a hoodie. One he couldn't resist. When he saw it online, with the silhouettes of ravens, crows and rooks in gentle chromatic grey water colours on the soft black fabric Ienzo knew he needed it. It was a source of comfort, and most importantly it was something entirely his. It was not tied to anyone else. It was not a relic of science. Of hearts. Of the organization nor the gardens. Just his favorite little funny birds. Intelligent little beasts he often got playfully chided for due to his habit to spend time with them in the courtyard. 

Ienzo found such solace in the corvids’ ability to remember human faces. To remember humans. To remember him. One whom he named Beth, would sit on the bench while he read. Once he read “The Raven” to her, for nothing more but the impulse to take advantage of the perfect set up. Yes, they would sit with them. They would fly away from anyone else. Even Aeleus. They were his birds. And Ienzo loved his birds.

That is where he headed now. He saw some flying about earlier and he could use the company while he delved into his new novel. Something purely self indulgent. He loved Wells, but he needed something silly. A frivolous fantasy. Anne Rice. If Ienzo was a touch goofier, he might have performed a chef’s kiss at the notion. Despite his being a villain, Ienzo found Lestat to be rather entertaining to observe at times. The novel sat now, in his hoodie pouch pocket.

Ienzo stepped into the crisp air and shivered once more. It had been raining that morning and only recently stopped. The air still felt like it bore the drops. He felt one on his cheek but he did not wipe it away. It was soothing. Refreshing. He laid a towel over the bench when he came upon it, then sat down. Ienzo smiled out at the little cluster of birds snacking on the treats he hid for them in the bushes. Steam from his coffee formed a little cloud next to him on the bench. He opened to a page he dogeared with the remaining chaotic energy that still lingered in him from adolescence. Rest assured, he only ever dog eared his personal collection. It was still out of character enough for the visitor that happened upon him to comment on it. 

A smooth elegant voice lilted behind him. “Odd for a man who claims books as his first love. Though, after the desecration of the library I should really assume that my notions of you are not quite accurate Zexion.”

Ienzo flinched and stiffened. He turned to look behind him, hood and hair hiding most of his face. Oh how he would hate the colour pink if Kairi had not restored the colour’s dignity for him. Ienzo said nothing to Lauriam. He stared at the scarecrow in his arms with distaste and waited for the man to explain his presence. 

Lauriam smiled, the smile however contained an element that Ienzo did not want to decode. “Occupation” He said simply. Fair comment. He wore gloves and while the clothes he wore did appear to be from a magazine they were also fairly a gardener’s garb. “Do not look so surprised. If the apprentices accept Demyx as an ally, why not me as a gardener? He was a part of the real Organization as well.” Lauriam elaborated.

Ienzo covered his scoff narrowly with a sigh. “Demyx never arranged assassinations.”

The pink haired man’s smile never wavered. “In a way, it was really Saïx who sent us all to die. Excluding of course, his beloved Axel. Whom, if I remember correctly you have made peace with despite his having a direct hand in your own death specifically. Strangulation and absorption. I am sorry you had to go through that, and at such a tender age as well.” He mused, setting up the scarecrow.

Ienzo couldn't hide his sneer fully. The crows shifted away from the commotion. “ **Don’t** put that here” Ienzo warned. Honestly the bluenette had nothing to follow the threatening tone with, but he hoped his distaste was deternent enough.

“I am following the instructions of my employer, whom your little frown holds no edge to” Lauriam hummed, adjusting the elaborate scare crow’s clothes.

Ienzo turned back around and took a large sip of scalding coffee, not caring that it burnt his tongue. “Even” he mumbled.

“Even” Laurium confirmed. “Though it was Ansem that hired me. The man has become so kind in his age hasn't he? Forgiving.”

“I do not like you. Stop playing the casual acquaintance” Ienzo grumbled into his book.

“I am aware. I have hold disillusioned ideas about anyone’s attitude towards me. I also have no misconceptions about the collective and overwhelming air for a new slate. You prefere Ienzo over Zexion, yes?” 

...Ienzo nodded out of nothing but the good manners he was taught.

Lauriam rested his hands on the back of the bench beside the scientist’s shoulder. Ienzo buried his face further into his novel. Laurium only smiled politely in turn.

“Nice to meet you Ienzo. I am Lauriam. I hope I do not disturb your work too much with my own.”

Ienzo hated the words he said but he admired the unapologetic way he made space for himself. His ears twitched when he heard the rough suede of gardening gloves slip from the wood of the bench. A moment later the rustling of the scarecrow resummed.

Zexion hated Marluxia. Ienzo begrudgingly accepted that some aspects of Zexion still lingered in him.

Lauriam let out an indignant scoff and muttered under his breath. “Someone has been feeding the damn pests”.

Ienzo smiled discreetly into his book at the small triumph. Making the pink haired man break his mask was always entertaining.

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



	7. {Lion's paw}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo slaps a dead chicken in thought.  
> Even takes him out for noodles and tells him the floating city has been rebuilt.  
> Demyx thinks back to a precious rare moment he had with Zexion before he was sent to oblivion. The precious rare moment includes the memory of some adorable kids derping around on the beach.

If one would combine rosemary, salt and lemon they would find the resulting mixture to smell remarkably like the common conception of ocean water perfume. Ienzo was not sure why this thought struck him so incredibly hard while he cooked. A funny finding? Sure. For a second though, this felt like whiplash. His hands paused their chopping of herbs and he tilted his head. 

“Bizarre...am I homesick?” He asked himself, staring at the chicken before him as if she would get up and tell him the answer despite no longer having a head. 

“But...I havent...That place has not been my home for so long. Even then, the memory of my old home town is ...marred” He spoke quickly to the bird’s carcas.

Frustrated by the lack of clarity and birth of more questions, Ienzo slapped herbs loudly onto the breast of the dead beast. The smack reverberated off the walls. Even, upon just coming in, gave Ienzo a very concerned look and an even more concerned squak. 

“Ienzo are you alright? It is already dead I assure you” Even spoke with an expression that came across mildly disturbed.

Ienzo turned slowly, hair covered parts of his face reminiscent of a little girl caught giving herself a haircut. He looked back to the bird and tapped his nails on the cutting board. Too many things he wanted to say all at once, which lead him to simply say “Well...I needed to check”. Ienzo laughed gently, hoping the blond understood it was a joke.

Even furrowed his brow. “Perhaps we should treat ourselves to take out tonight instead.” 

Ienzo sighed. Humour was not a strong part of the blond’s dna. It made growing up under his tutelage stale. The bluenette nodded and went to wash his hands before taking care of the ingredients sprawled over the kitchen counters in little formations that a surgeon would be jealous of.

Even waited quietly and took out a few menus awhile. When the food was ordered, Ienzo went with his elder to pick it up. Even had softened in old age.

‘Yes, nothing more than that. Age and guilt for letting this boy befall what he did. Ansem trusted me with Ienzo just as he did his research. I failed him two fold. By that extension, Ienzo’s forgiveness is one I must also strive to earn’. The old man glanced at his old ward next to him.

Ienzo’s face was hidden from Even’s view, that side being the one bearing most of his hair. The apprentices were debating whether or not to tell the boy of the new developments. In this moment though, Even may have done the kind thing for once.

“Your home world has been restored and rebuilt. People are moving back in, Ienzo” Even said slowly.

Ienzo stopped. The bag of hot fragrant food crinkled against his chest and the aromas formed a cloud around his face. Fitting, they decided to get pasta of all things. That scent was already associated with the floating city. Best not to load another food with turbulent memories. To be honest, it was Ienzo who suggested pasta...it seems that memories bore the power of suggestion. Ienzo remained silent, too many thoughts in his head.

“There is no rush to make any decisions. Additionally, Ienzo” Even paused “Of course you may always stay in Radiant Gardens. The choice is entirely yours child.”

* * *

> “There's a loneliness that only exists in one's mind. The  **loneliest moment** in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”
> 
> Scott Fitzgerald.  _ The Great Gatsby _ .

Demyx had heard him muse that to himself on a blessed random day. He had happened upon Zexion in the grey room, reading to himself when he thought no one else was awake. The short man had spoken the words just hardly above a whisper while staring out the wall of windows. Demyx stood in the hall leading to the room, eclipsed by the heavy shadows made all the more exhausting by the castle’s achromatic façade.

When zexion turned back from the window he was caught off guard. His face frozen in a somber mask of surprise. The schemer prided himself in refraining from emotion, as most struggling people did in their late adolescence. Demyx Recently got out of that, a little slow to grow emotionally with all his mental power being....eaten up elsewhere let’s say. In the end, all that mattered was that the nocturn knew what hell the schemer had in his head. Demyx knew it had to be keeping him from sleep. Even with 3 of his main guardians in the organization with him, Zexion felt just as much an orphan as he did when he lost his mother. Perhaps even more so, He didn't have Kairi. He had not had Kairi with him in nearly a decade.

**God Damn.** If Demyx didn't know first hand the painful sting in the tip of the nose, the sulfurous burning in the eyes, the tourniquet in your throat, that realizing your best friend had forgotten you a decade ago would bring.

* * *

Myde struggled to walk right in the sand with his little friend clinging to his back. He laughed anyways. Ienzo clutched the money his mother had given them awkwardly in his tiny fist. The edge of the bill kept poking Myde in the face but he didn't mind. As long as their gelato funds were well protected by the child Demyx was proud of his little friend.

The blond adjusted the younger child on his back and went over the newly learned italian in his head. Ienzo was a shy boy, he would hide behind Myde when they went up to the cart. So it was up to the 8 year old to order the treat for the both of them.

When Myde felt he found the perfect spot he smirked. He quickly told Ienzo to hold on tight then he bolted for the sandy patch. The messanger bag of supplies thwacked against his leg and ienzo clutched him tighter than necessary but he didnt care. He was happy.

He had a best friend. He had a woman working hard to get him adopted by someone she saw fit for him. In the meantime, she was raising Myde herself. He had only been with Ienzo’s family for a month and a half but he already forgot all about frigid Arendale. Dioli was his home now. He had a place now, and hell if someone stole his place again.

The young Myde sat Ienzo down gently on the newly spread beach blanket. The little boy got right back up and hugged him tight before spotting a shell that immediately stole his interest. The blond laughed and watched Ienzo wade into the water for his treasure. Myde had no clue the dark cloud had followed him. He had no clue the dark cloud would grow to consume Ienzo and swallow his mother. Myde had no clue he was bad luck.

Ienzo walked back to the blond. Sand sticking to his puny legs. He held out a nearly perfectly intact and peachy lions paw shell. The Bluennette who could hardly speak a word in common with the blond pressed the gift to his chest. Words were tedious anyways, who needed them?

* * *

Demyx was painfully aware of the ridges of the shell against his leg where it lay in his pocket. He memorized Zexion’s impending self loathing espression, caused by getting caught. Demyx nearly stepped back into the dark of the hall before Zexion sighed. His small hand gestured him over. Demyx raised a brow and Zexion elaborated.

“I made too much tea. I can’t drink it all myself. If you play your sitar that is fine, but please play a calm song. I am trying to read.” The blunette spoke calmly, pouring a cup for Demyx. 

Demyx could cry. He didn't, but he could. They would not have been entirely sad tears either.

Ienzo was still in there. Demyx knew that Zexion could never truly look down on him for that reason. This gave Demyx hope that when they were out of the castle, they might be able to pick up where they left off.

Wretched hope.

Zexion spoke up, nose still in his book. “Forgive me for the tragic self musing. I am nervous about my next mission. I am to be commander and overseer of the lower half of oblivion”. 

Demyx sat down next to his higher ranking peer and took the cup with his classic smile. “Sounds like you are moving up in the world.” 

Zexion took a cleansing breath and looked away from him, favoring his book. 

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



	8. {Earl Grey}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Demyx goes to talk to Lea and finds he is not home.

Demyx smiled politely at Isa when he was handed the steaming cup of earl grey. Demyx wasn't much of a tea person but he would accept anything he was given with a sweet smile. The man hated to hurt anyone, even if it were simply a frown over a refused treat. His eyes scanned over the room. On the dining room table, he could tell exactly which backpack belonged to which student. Roxas, a checkerboard messenger bag. Xion, a minimalist canvas backpack printed with a pattern of realistically painted sea shells. Roxas had tiny skateboard charms and a keychain advertising a local skate shop hanging from his bag’s strap. Xion, more shells each pierced once to let a chain through. Xion also had a small frame keychain with a tiny picture undoubtedly drawn by Naminé. That made him extraordinarily happy and proud that the girls found each other. Neither were ever truly treated as human until recently, only Xion could understand Nami, and only Nami could understand Xion.

Isa hummed almost inaudibly when he sat down. “They are at the islands for the weekend” He said in a way of an explanation for the kids’ absence. He seemed slightly relieved to have respite from his new found parenthood for the weekend.

“Ah! Lucky them” Demyx spoke cheerfully. “And lucky you and Axel!”

Isa winced and raised a brow. “ _ Lea _ went with them. We both agreed they are best chaperoned.” Isa reminded his old colleague.

“Right Right,  _ Lea. _ ” Demyx stiffened and grew uncomfortable.

Isa sighed. “Isa”

“Isa! Yes, yeah dude I knew that!” Demyx smiled nervously.

Isa smiled at him suspiciously and Demyx swallowed his jaw at the expresion. “And what should I be calling you now?”

Demyx held up his hands and shook his head. “Demyx. Just Demyx...I don't like who I was before and I'd really rather not use that name”

Isa tilted his head with a hint of concern. 

Demyx bit his lip. “Please Isa”

The blunette sighed. “Fine. Demyx”.

Demyx let out a large exhale at the dodged bullet. He really hated Myde.

Isa put down his cup and sought to change the subject. He looked melancholy for a moment. “Did you hear about the Radiant Gardens Royall Library?.”

Demyx faltered. This was a worse subject. He came here to talk to Lea. Every second he was here it could pose an issue and he wasn't sure how long he could keep things together...then again, maybe it was better to talk to Isa.  _ ‘But can I trust Isa?’ _ . Demyx’s eyes grew distant for a moment and the rest of the visit passed with his mask firmly in place. That is not to say he did not enjoy Isa’s company, much the opposite. He did, and that only made him feel all the more like a traitor.

“Im sorry dude, I'm a dead fish I know. It’s hella weird too. Given…” Demyx trailed off. 

Isa nodded in what he thought was a knowing matter. “The Second Organization” He said detachedly.

Demyx faltered. “Yeah...because of the second organization.”

* * *

They weren't really friends nor were they together. Acquaintances was not the right word either. Axel and Demyx were more so just two dumbasses examining their dumbassery together in mutual suppressed panic. Demyx closed his eyes to block out the cold blaring white of the castle and Axel sat up on his end of the bed, brows creased in thought.

“Stop worrying so much dude. You're doing well. Honest. I mean they are both safe!” Demyx tried to console him, back leaned uncomfortably on the bed from his space on the floor.

Axel shook his head. “He is going to find out. Then she is toast. Ashes On the floor that I have to try and clean up all while holding Roxas back from a challenge he can’t win.” 

The blond frowned and nodded. “You weren't built to be a guardian.” Demyx admitted, echoing the thoughts keeping Axel up that night.

“Take my place then freeloader” Axel huffed.

“Hell no, I’m worse.” Demyx smiled sadly. “Much worse. They would not have made it this far. Trust me”

“You seem so sure of that” Axel pushed with a tilted head.

Demyx’s voice dropped an octave and he remained facing away from Axel. “Just trust me. I can’t keep anything alive.”

Axel rolled his eyes and laughed “Not even yourself if not for the leather on your back protecting you”.

“You got it man.” Demyx nodded. Axel just took whatever he said. The red head didn't have time to push him. It’s why Demyx could talk to Axel on one of their rare after hours meet ups.

They were not together. They were just two men flailing in the open sea while trying to keep others afloat: despite neither man having a clue what they were doing. Axel and Demyx both understood the immediate threat of drowning...and occasionally met up to remind each other they were still breathing.

Both felt they were committing an act of betrayal each time. Axel for obvious reasons. Demyx for reasons he would never outright say, at that point he still thought he could drown his attachments like he was told to. It wouldn't be until tragedy hit a second time that he would admit it to himself. Never out loud with ears present. Not that anyone listened to him. Even now, sitting in Axel’s room, he was more a sound board than a conversation partner.

The blond turned to look back at Axel. “You good now dude?”

Axel remained silent for a moment, looking into a little shell. She was leaving them everywhere. “She’s nice to dusks. I don’t understand why he hates her...but yes. I am better now Demyx. At least enough to sleep.” He said, pulling his attention away from the tiny conche.

Demyx nodded and hoisted himself up. “‘Mkay. Get those zs man” 

Axel let himself laugh, one he held back for the sake of the sleeping occupants of the castle. “Of course. You too. So you can report  _ on time _ for once.”

Demyx flashed a snarky smile when he turned around in the doorway. “We’ll see”.

* * *

Demyx made himself relax. He shouldn't be feeling guilty. In  _ this _ aspect he did nothing wrong. Axel needed someone there so he wasn't talking to a wall and Demyx had nothing better to do. 

When the pot of tea was empty, Demyx stood up to leave.

However, before he made it to the door Isa had pressed a small note into his hand. On it was a cell phone number and Lea’s name. Demyx never told Isa he was there to see Lea. Demyx smiled and thanked him but shivered when he was out of the house. “That man sees too much...what else does he...no.” Demyx shook the thought from his head while he walked back to the bus station.

  
  
  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



	9. {Sol}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You might not want to read this one if you are sensitive to the death of animals.
> 
> Myde and Ienzo find a baby cat in a storm and give him a new home.  
> Demyx remembers why he can't stand being called Myde.
> 
> note: Myde and Ienzo are only 2 or 3 years apart. I realize their language barrier, coupled with Ienzo's shy behavior may make him seem younger than that.

“Don’t slip!” Myde yelled when Ienzo leaned too far over the window sill for his liking.

The blond forgot to respond in Italian and instead yelled for the boy in his own native tongue. Ienzo leaned back from the sill, damp with rain and wore a hurt expression. Myde winced and hurried over to him, picking his friend up and sitting down in the chair with Ienzo in his lap. This way the younger child didn't have to stand on the chair to see the rain pitter off the buildings and trees. Ienzo calmed once he was held. His eyes trained immediately on the summer storm the moment it was back in view. Of all the odds, Myde ended up with a friend who loved rain as much as he did. 

They weren't supposed to have the window open. Regina reminded Myde of that in a friendly tone, she didn't want them getting sick. Myde just couldn't help himself though. When Ienzo asked him to open the attic window and pull a chair up for him, he did so after only a second of thought. If they got in trouble then the eight year old would take the fire for the both of them, protecting his friend like a true man. Funny how this tiny act of defiance made Myde feel brave. More so than escaping his home land did. Protecting someone other than himself gave him more motivation, less reason to accept failure.

Ienzo shifted and leaned up over the sill again. Myde felt a tiny bit of panic and pulled him back to the safe warm room but not before Ienzo got some rain in his hair. The blue child whined Myde’s name in protest and pointed for him to look. Sure enough, Myde leaned forward  _ safely _ with Ienzo in a firm grasp. On the street was a little shivering pathetic lump. A lone kitten, huddling under a trash can lid. 

Ienzo’s little face contorted like the child was about to cry. He looked to the blond and pointed with more vigor. He spoke some rapid words,too fast for Myde to translate them in his head. Myde knew what Ienzo wanted though. The blond sat back and used his leg to push the chair away from the window. He held Ienzo firmly when he protested and tried to escape his grasp. 

Looking out the window was one thing. Bringing in a stray soaked kitten was another. Ienzo pushed Myde and he put him down. The smaller boy ran to the window and stood on his tippy toes to try and see the kitten but couldn't. He whined as if some stranger pulled him away from his parents. The blond was thoroughly conflicted. 

Myde sighed and stood, walking back to the window and peered out of it. He gasped slightly. The kitten had stopped trying to retreat under the lid. He laid down in the cold rain and rested his head on his paws sadly. Closed his little eyes. A tiny high pitched meow just barely cut through the rain pattering around him. Ienzo let out a cry and Myde winced.

Regina and Aroldo were asleep.... They just had to be careful not to make any noise. 

Myde scooped Ienzo up swiftly and gestured for him to be quiet. He rushed downstairs as quickly as he could while tip toeing. He set Ienzo down and put coats on both of them then grabbed a towel from the bathroom. Then the blond took Ienzo’s tiny hand and led him to the narrow one way road behind their house, adjusting the hood on Ienzo’s head to keep him dry.

When the boys got to the trash can lid, Myde told Ienzo to cover his eyes. He didn’t tell him why, but if the little kitten was dead...Myde didn’t want Ienzo to see that. 

Myde knew what seeing death at that age was like...Myde himself was already desensitized to it at 8. He didn’t want that for Ienzo. 

Myde lifted the lid and scooped the baby cat up in the towel. He held his breath and put his ear to the tiny kitty’s chest. Ienzo asked what was going on from behind his hands. Myde felt his heart still, trying to think of what lie he could tell Ienzo

The kitty ran off.

The kitty has a family.

The kitty was just a shoe. 

Then kitty breathed. Myde exhaled and smiled. Kitty let out a little whine and he held the baby to his chest so he could get warm. Myde told Ienzo to uncover his eyes and hold onto his jacket because he had to carry kitty. The two boys made it to the house and went right to the attic. 

They dried off the kitty. Made him a little kitty crib by bunching some blankets on a pillow of the spare bed. Ienzo stayed with the kitty while Myde went down stairs and snuck some leftover salmon for the baby animal, and some milk. Kitty ate with vigour, so much so that it made Ienzo giggle and tug on Myde’s sleeve to make sure he was seeing this. 

Myde got up on the bed with the kitty and Ienzo crawled up too. The little boy kept petting the kitty and the cat purred in return. While Myde thought of what he could tell the adults, Ienzo thought of names. The little grey cat got milk all over himself and Ienzo thought it looked like he was dripping with morning dew. This made Ienzo think of the sunshine that came right after a storm. He leaned and laid on his belly so he was nose to nose with the little grey kitten. They made eye contact and the kitten meowed at him. Ienzo laughed and meowed back. He reached over and poked the kitten’s nose and said simply:

“Sol.”

Myde decided he made the right choice. Now they were a trio. Myde, Ienzo and Sol.

Sol did very well the whole next week. They hid him in the attic. Fed him, loved him. Ienzo  _ cherished  _ the baby cat. He was content to just hold him for hours while the boys watched the ships sail out the window with the radio playing. The kitten would purr the moment either boy picked him up. He was their sunlight in the dark attic. A hopeless little stray that became a beacon. Whenever either boy got in trouble, Sol was there to be their sun.

They should have never hid him from the adults.

One day when the two boys came back from the beach, Regina waited for them with a plate of cookies on the coffee table.

Myde froze. Ienzo rushed for a cookie. Regina scooped up her child and beckoned for Myde to come forward solemnly with a smile. Myde shoved his hands in his pockets and walked forward. He sat down next to the woman and leaned on her. He already knew what happened and Ienzo had no clue. 

Myde’s vision was already blurry. Regina’s spare arm was around him. Myde hardly heard the words she spoke to little Ienzo. The younger child stopped eating his cookie. The thump of it on the carpet preceded a pained tiny wail. When Ienzo cried, Myde winced. He swallowed his heart at the sounds of his best friend’s pain. Regina held them both tightly. She told them she wasn't mad.

She told them they were such good boys. Such kind boys. They made a home for the little kitten so he wasn't alone. They made the little kitten feel loved. Such kind boys made a little baby cat happy at home when he had none. Such good and kind boys.

Sol died. He was too tiny. He was already sick. The boys never noticed that Sol wouldn't walk on his own because Ienzo carried him everywhere.

Sol died peacefully, cuddling into one of the boy’s stray t-shirts that got left in the attic. 

Sol died in a happy warm home with his belly full and dreaming of playing with his two favorite boys. 

And Sol wasn’t alone. In the last moment, Sol had a mom. Regina found him while she was cleaning. She held the baby and he purred in her arms. She wrapped him in the t-shirt and made sure he was with a mom when he stilled. 

Myde thought to himself, while Regina explained, that the kitten got the best mom ever: Regina.

Myde kept it together as long as he could while Ienzo was in the room. He smiled at the boy. Held his hand. Told him all the things you tell a child when their pet dies. Sol is in a happy place. Sol loved you.

When Aroldo took his son and Myde was alone with Regina, Myde let his smiling mask fall. He let himself cry, but never in front of Ienzo. Myde felt it was his fault. If he had told the adults and gotten help then Sol would still be with them.

That evening, they buried Sol properly. The tiny baby cat was wrapped in the blessed t-shirt that kept him warm. He was put in a little shoe box with some of the socks he liked to play with.

Ienzo drew a little picture of him playing with him and Myde. Myde made a tiny seashell necklace for the kitten. Such good and kind boys. Both were put in the box with Sol. The kitten wore his necklace and the picture was laid over him. 

Ienzo clung to Myde and cried into his side while Myde put the lid on the box. He insisted he do it. He didn't protect Ienzo from seeing death, the least he could do was to clean up the mess. Even in hell, he would do anything and everything he could to protect Ienzo...or at least make him hurt less. 

They lowered the kitten into a little space in the lavender patch. That is where the most sun shone. It was warm there. Lots of sun for Sol. 

Once he was buried, Aroldo placed a slab of sea glass over the grave. Aroldo carved glass as a hobby. On the turquoise slab was a little cat under a little sun. 

The family stood in a moment of silence for the kitten. Regina knelt in the grass and held the boys. Myde turned to Ienzo and in his best italian told him then he would never let this happen again. He held his pinky out to the boy and told him what a pinky promise was. Ienzo wrapped his pinky around Myde’s and wiped his tears on his sleeve. 

Myde swore to himself he would chase the sun, bring it back to Ienzo and make sure it never left him again.

* * *

Demyx winced, forehead against the glass of the bus. He was watching helplessly as the sun was swallowed by the clouds. He narrowly avoided telling Isa his real name. The bus drove into a tunnel and it went dark.

“...I dont like who I was then. Myde is a wretched liar”.

  
  
  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  



	10. {Window Sill}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ienzo contemplates his old home.
> 
> Demyx promises a shell that he will be honest with himself.

Ienzo set the glossy illustrative zine Even gave him into the little space he made for it in his personal desk. Slowly, he shut the drawer and sat down in his cushy desk chair. He leaned back and dug up the memories he had of his home country. 

They were vague and blurry of course, He was only a little over 6 or so when he was spirited away to Radiant Gardens by the Apprentices. He tapped his nails rhythmically on the wood of his desk and listened to the chilly spring rain outside his window. Ienzo hummed and put on some quiet music using his blue tooth speaker before walking to the window. He pushed up the frame of glass and leaned over the sill.

Ienzo felt the soft rain on his hair, the drops adding tiny points of weight in his hair. He closed his eyes and breathed in. Ah yes, there it was again- the scent of the sea. He hadn’t a clue where it was coming from but more and more Ienzo found it comforting. Familiar- of course, his homeworld was a place so very close to the ocean. This familiarity however felt more like….an old acquaintance he had forgotten the name of. Like a childhood friend so dear, but the curse of young age made their name scatter to the sands. 

Ienzo rested his elbows on the window sill and rested his head against the side of the window frame. He could stay like this forever. As much as he loathed the chill, he actually quite loved the rain. Summer thunderstorms were his favorite. He did remember how he would sit on the porch with his mother to watch the sky light up with soft lavender ribbons of laser like brilliance. They would drink icy cool valencia orange flavored lemonade and he would dance in the puddles before his mother bade him come in. Ienzo laughed gently at the memory of being splashed in the face. 

A pause. His eyes opened. Splashed? By who..his mother most often stayed on the porch and his father hated lightning. 

Ienzo glanced back at the desk that held the pamphlet of the floating city. He reached over and took it, careful not to let it get rained on. The glossy picture looked wet enough what with the turquoise ocean staring back at him like an old grandmother welcoming him home with the promise of jewel toned waters and warm sepia buildings.

And answers.

* * *

Demyx stepped off the bus and out into the rain without reacting to the sprinkle turned torrent in a matter of moments. The sky cracked open and the air smelled heavily of spring waters. Liliac lightning flashed it’s light across the glossy sheen on his leather moto jacket. 

Demyx watched the bus drive off and leaned his back on a street-light pole. He turned his head up to the rain and let it pelt his eyelids. He breathed easy.

“Thanks buddy, you always know how to cheer a guy up” He exhaled with a slight smile. 

He sank his hands into his pocket and gripped the Lion’s paw shell. It had recently started to crack and Demyx felt the impulsive need to check it’s condition every couple hours or so. The peachy speckles that once lined it in such a sunny array have dulled into more of a soft gold colour. Demyx had mixed feelings about the particular shade of yellow that characterized gold. Some positive, but most were bordering on negative. Loathsome actually, given some recent developments.

Demyx wanted to see Ienzo. Actually see him, not just check up on him from the faucet like some eldritch water imp. The phone the bluenette gave him burned a hole in his pocket. Demyx always could talk to him, text him- but it wasn't the same and technology scrambled his head too much.

No, He wanted to  _ see _ Ienzo. Talk to him over tea like he did with Isa earlier.  _ Spend time with him _ . 

“...And pretend like things never got dark” He mumbled to himself.

In the past, Demyx had considered taking his woes to Naminé. That came with issues though. The most obvious of those ebing he would have to tell her- tell her everything. And even worse yet...he didn't want to mess with Ienzo’s head. That was too invasive. Long ago, Demyx had decided that if Ienzo couldn’t remember him on his own...then he wasn't meant to remember him.

“Stay out here any longer and I’ll have to start calling you Ariel” Luxu smirked, stepping down the stairs to their apartment. The ponytailed man walked up to Demyx and poked his cranial mass.

Demyx raised a brow and smirked, swatting his hand away. “Do it. I’d love to be a hot mermaid. She’s an amazing figure to emulate”

Luxu groaned and rolled his eyes. “Whatever fish boy, come inside soon yeah? Food’s getting cold.” He thunked him again. “I won’t ask about your field trip.” Luxu said with a gentle sigh. “I hate arguing with you man. Call it an apology gesture.”

Demyx smirked more and tilted his head to look at him. “How thoughtful, acknowledging my autonomy after so long.”

Luxu raised a brow “You know what that word means?”

“Shut up dude.  _ You _ know I am not  _ that _ stupid.” Demyx mumbled, sticking out his tongue.

The older man just rolled his eyes and waved, heading back up the steps. 

Demyx narrowly kept the shell hidden in the sleeve of his coat. With Luxu gone, he re-examined it. Specks fading. Running out of time. 

“Fine” Demyx said to himself barely above a whisper. “I’ll admit it.”

  
  
  
  



End file.
